With Appologies to Henry Livingston

Twas the day before Christmas and all through my place,
The presents were everywhere, frantic was my pace.
The stockings had yet to be hung up with care,
(In fact there was nary a decoration anywhere!)

My husband was still nestled snug in our bed
While visions of wrapping paper danced in my head.
The tape was strewn 'round, the scissors were lost
The paper was wrinkled, I was feeling quite cross.

A movie for Charlie was loudly playing,
And in my warm bed I'd rather be laying.
My sinuses sniffled my chest was congested
and by self sticky adhesives I was constantly bested.

I searched for the ribbon and curses I muttered
As I listed off gifts that I'd give to others.
"Something for this bro, something for that one
Something for Dad and something for Mom."

"Lots of little things for my progeny,"
(Who was completely distracted by the blaring TV.)
"Something nice for my sister-in-law
and a small little something for her ma and pa."

When with a sudden and self damning oath
I realized I didn't have a thing for my beau!
I threw on my hoodie, I threw on my shoes
To go out and sing the 'Last Minute Gift' blues.

I wandered and ran to find an open store
Where I could find something for my paramour.
A new Christmas sweater? A heavy pint glass?
Maybe I'd just put a bow on my ---

Ah-hah! There it was! The perfect sweet gift
That would make him smile and made my spirits lift.
I had just enough money, I bought it right there
And ran home to wrap it all up for mon cher.

I got home just in time to get things together
So we could all spend Christmas at my big brother's.
And my young daughter shouted as we drove out of sight,
"Merry Christmas to all! SANTA'S COMING TONIGHT!!"